and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
