i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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