Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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