please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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