I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
