I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
