Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
