Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
