I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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