i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was like eating out sand paper
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
