I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
