I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
