the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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