After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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