I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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