1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What a dumb baby whore.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
