omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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