Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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