I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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