If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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