dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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