dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize