Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
