it wasn't lemon gatorade
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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