I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
