I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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