I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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