How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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