i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
