she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
