Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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