im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
