he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
