He is an equal opportunity slut.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
