Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
