I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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