what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
