Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
