Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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