How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I could make wine with my vomit
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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