I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
