Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
