Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
