What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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