Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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