hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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