So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
