I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
