3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize