i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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