Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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