I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
