I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
