You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
