I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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