My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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