everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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