Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
