You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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