Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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