He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
