You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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