Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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