i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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