Banned from zoo.
Again?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
last night I used snow as a chaser
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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