Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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