Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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