no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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